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I have thought for several years now how hard it was going to be when my Dad passed away. Over the last year my brother and I both knew this could be our last year with him. He did all those things you hear about people doing when they have some sort of 6th sense about their mortality.Dad had to go to North Carolina in the spring of '09. He wanted to go to all the old haunts. He went to see if he could find where his infant brother was buried on the hill behind the house they were living in that winter so long ago. It was a bad winter, freezing and the roads were bad. Everett was born along with his twin brother Earl. Two weeks after their birth, Everett died and they buried him on the hill near a big tree. So sad. So normal for those depression years in the mountains of NC.
Dad bought a new video camera and had it recording a lot. It was so emotional in some scenes as he relived those childhood days. He narrated all videos.
Last winter when we had the enormous snowfall, Dad came and opened my attic door to let the heat go up and melt some snow from the roof. My house was freezing, but the attic was nice. I coud have slept up there! He laughed when I told him I didn't want to pay a high propane bill. He said, 'better to pay extra for propane than pay when your roof caves in'. Guess he was right there. Huh, why would I even have questioned him. He was always right! But, he had called me several times wanting me to call him "immediately" when I got home from work. I saved those messages. Then I was thinking I would want to hear his voice later.
Dad was a very amazing man. Was pulled out of school, literally his Dad went and got him out of school during the first weeks of his 2nd grade year, and he had to go to work. From then till he was 17 his paychecks went to support the large family. He was born in 1929 so we know the years times were bad.
He basically taught himself to read and write. He was always a bit embarrassed at his writing skills, but I loved his writing. I wish I had kept some. Why, I'd just cry more.
The sadness is overwhelming. It has been one month and one day since he had the stroke. It feels like forever ago, yet yesterday. My heart cries everyday. My eyes leak every day also. I can't help it. It just happens.
I hear it gets better, I guess it's just too soon.
Lovely post Paula. Loving you and praying for you.
ReplyDeleteBecky
Paula, this is still so painful for you, but your love for your Dad comes shining through. Thinking of you. My Dad is still ill in hospital after his fall and not really improving any. It will be a slow process.
ReplyDeleteFollowing up your comment on my blog: this is an exceptionally harsh winter for us - apparently the coldest since 1914. Usually the Gulf Stream keeps us a bit warmer. Who knows what climate change is going to bring next?
Hi Paula,
ReplyDeleteI can see from your posts here, that you were close to your father. I'm sure things will be difficult as different milestone dates go by, and it's the first this or that without him. He does sound like a cool guy. It's too bad he had to leave school at such a young age.
My dad, the oldest of 5 kids, had to work to help his family, too, but he was able to graduate from high school. I guess he'd saved some money to go to college, but his parents said they needed it for the family.
Both of my husband's parents died at younger ages. It was very hard on the family, and they missed out on seeing their younger grandchildren.
My parents are in their upper 70s, and on all kinds of medications for a number of things. I need to get a complete list from them. My dad takes lots of photos. I'll have to have them take some movies with his little camera, and narrate them.
Thanks for your comment on my Bloomin' Tuesday post. I answered your questions on my blog, but don't know if you subscribed to the follow up comments. The first plant was bergenia, or pig squeak. Dave's Garden said that dwarf comfrey grows in zones 4a to 9b. I hope you find some. I also grow regular comfrey, and it gets about 3 feet tall and bushy.
I'll have to go see if you are still blogging on another blog.